My reactive crap

I have been giving a lot of thought to my first blog about my daughter's comment about being "inferior to the pretty girls". I was so stunned to read that that I just reacted...without thinking it through. Without realizing the buttons it pushed in me. Without thinking about why she would say something like that, something that rings false with me...knowing her as well as I do (or think I do). The first button it pushed was just that, that perhaps I do NOT know this child of mine so well. Crap, how could I not see her insecurities? Next button/issue was, crap, how much am I/was I like that? How much am I still like that? How much was I at her age? And then, crap - all of the above. And then in a week or so I went back to button #1 and realized I do know this kid well, better than anyone. I watch her and listen to her and see the choices she makes. I know her closest friends well, and their mothers. We are all over each other. She knows me in ways better than I know myself, and vice versa. And we occasionally point that sort of stuff out to each other. We all do so, ruthlessly, from time to time.
My darling daughter, in my opinion and belief, in no way feels inferior to anyone, in any capacity, except her running speed. She might want some more attention, especially from members of the opposite sex, and the men in her life, but I truly belive she does not feel inferior. Nor should she. I think she does not want others to feel inferior to her in the pretty department, so she said what she said. I know who her true heart-felt friends are. That is the sort of thing she would do or say to make them see her in a different way. She is a pretty girl who is not judgmental. Nor am I (hah, I try). Her best close bare it all pals are NOT all the "pretty" crew. She said that to make them feel better, and herself, maybe, unknowingly. That is kinda sad, but understandable I suppose. It is how we are sometimes. She and I do tend to bend ourselves a bit far to make other people feel better. Her heart is in the right place, but geez. It was nice to hear a 19 year old male pal say that he was sorry that his gender laid this kind of " need to be pretty" weight on her. He has a point. But I took the weight off of him, after thanking him for his thoughts. We can't blame men. Not if we are smart enough to know better. Nor can we blame society or economics or culture, not at this point. Why bother? I think the kids coming up now are going to change our world...and I think for the better. I am doing my part to contribute to that betterment, in ways I suppose, through these kids.